7 Reasons Why Even Ugly Artificial Slaughter Is Better Than Natural Slaughter

July 9th, 2008 (Visited 151,941 times)

Kosher Slaughter, Vegans, And Not Smiling CowsI love animals, I really do. However, many “animal lovers” are simply out of touch with reality. While humans may not need to eat animals to survive, to remain athletic and active, it really helps. While there are exceptions to this, they are far and few between. The reasoning is that in a vegan lifestyle, to obtain the 150 to 250 grams of protein per day that one would need to successfully build muscle (assuming a weight of between 150-250 pounds), the extra fiber and carbohydrates gained from eating foods that would provide that protein would destroy the careful ratios you’d be trying to observe. There are a couple vegan-friendly foods that provide heavy doses of protein in a serving, but not enough to reliably, affordably, and easily integrate them into a diet without growing tired of things pretty fast.

I’m not here to argue the nutritional merits of vegan lifestyles though, I’m here to bring a little dose of sanity and reality to the idea that humans are so far out of touch with nature that we’re savagely cruel to animals.

My inspiration for this rant was due to a debate that raged elsewhere, leading one commenter to say:

When predators kill they go for the throat and suffocate the animal quickly so it’s nothing like the horrific sh*t you see in the video.

Having seen my share of nature documentaries, I know this isn’t true. Animals in the wild equate to a 2 year old face-pounding a plate of spaghetti. They’re messy, unorganized, and things get ugly quickly. The introduction of human tools, like a fork and spoon or fork and knife, can greatly help make this process more efficient.

Most animals, if possible, either neutralize the threat from thrashing limbs, teeth, and claws or take an opposite approach where they are less likely to encounter said limbs. No matter how they do it – it isn’t pretty. The latter can be seen by the Komodo Dragon video further down.

After searching YouTube for a few minutes, I came up with 7 videos that show how various animals could care less about how humanely they’re killing their food. I do love animals very much, but some of the armchair hippies I run into during discussions like this need to realize that compared to these following videos… Even this terrible application of Kosher slaughter seems humane.

*** WARNING: The below videos may be considered graphic ***

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Indiana Jones Costumes

How To Hug A Baby – An Instructional Guide For Dogs

June 25th, 2008 (Visited 74,120 times)

BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL!Dogs have their moments. Dogs can make humans incredibly sad. Dogs can also make humans incredibly happy. Dogs can even piss us off.

But it is a FACT:

Few dogs know how to properly embrace a tiny infant. Without opposable paw-thumb-things, they are simply not well-suited for hugging babies.

I have a soft spot for canines, so I’d like to take a moment to properly show canines how to hug babies.

How To Hug A Baby

Step One: If you think you’ve spotted a baby, verify by employing classic sniffing techniques. Baby powder is a dead giveaway.

If you think you’ve spotted a baby, verify by employing classic sniffing techniques. Baby powder is a dead giveaway.

Step Two: Flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process.

How To Hug A Baby For Dogs - Step Two

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Get BackHoe, We Got A Train To Catch!

June 24th, 2008 (Visited 51,328 times)

Wow, given that these types of heavy machinery are rented, I wonder if the local CAT backhoe dealer this came from ever came across these.

Moreso, I wonder if they opted for the insurance.

(click the pictures for larger versions)

Backhoe climbs onto train

Here are a few more in the series of events:

Series of a CAT backhoe climbing onto a train

God Cannot Answer Your Prayer Or Help With Your Real Estate Loan Today – He Got Busted By The Cops!

June 23rd, 2008 (Visited 45,458 times)

God was selling cocaine within 1,000 feet of a churchSeparation of church and state is a very serious discussion. But some may ask, what exactly IS separation between church and state? In Florida, it appears to be about 1,000 feet.

Because God was selling cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church – and the state police arrested him.

Funny too, I always thought that term meant something different.

God was busted today.

At high noon.

For selling cocaine. Near a church.

God Lucky Howard, 39, described in jail records as a mortgage broker, was arrested by Tampa police. He was charged with one count each of delivery of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing; one count each of delivery of cocaine with intent to sell within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing; and two counts of possession of cocaine.

The arrest stems from two previous incidents, according to a criminal report affidavit.

On April 28, police bought 3.4 grams of cocaine from him out of a home at 3812 N. Avon Ave., according to the report. A month later, police served a search warrant on that address and found a safe in the bedroom closet containing three plastic bags with 22.5 grams of cocaine, according to the report. Police also found a digital scale with cocaine residue.

This is not the first time Howard has been arrested.

Four years ago, he was released from state prison, where he served 18 months on a 2003 cocaine charge. He pleaded guilty to a similar charge in 1995.

In an e-mail, Howard’s attorney, Alex Stavrou, said he could not immediately comment.

Howard is in the Orient Road Jail on an $86,500 bond, according to jail records.

So tonight little Timmy, if you’re praying for Mommy to stop yelling at Daddy, you might be out of luck. If you’re a homeowner waiting on God to close your loan so you can re-finance your adjustable rate mortgage before you get foreclosed on – you may also be out of luck.

Looks like a financial downturn really does affect everyone!

Maybe if he was playing golf, he wouldn’t be locked up :)

O.K. Internet – You Win. This Is The Funniest Video On Earth.

June 20th, 2008 (Visited 52,883 times)

Slow-Motion Laughing Baby - This Is The Funniest Video On EarthWhether it’s a matter of pride, shame, or sheer curiosity, it’s safe to say I’ve seen just about on the internet. Some of the darker more horrible sides of humanities dealing with the more violent videos may have twisted my stomach a bit, made me sad at the soul level, and forced me to test how much I could truly process…

But I’ve never given up. Not until now.

Not to say I haven’t laughed at the videos that truly deserve a laugh. Oh, I’ve laughed at them no doubt. But this video.. in its sheer simplicity.. its sheer reality.. finally forced me to take the headphones off and admit defeat.

Invoking some deeply seeded highly explosive catalyst for laughter, this video induced my innards to choose between two possibly fatal extremes. Either I hold in the laughter, I refuse to give in – or I let go. However, after choosing the former, less than halfway through I knew I would not make it. And I didn’t. In retrospect, I don’t think I could have truly survived either choice. If I were Superman, this would be my Kryptonite. I’m not Superman however, so I guess this is my laughing baby?

More Laughing Babies

I’ve seen these ones before, but something about laughing babies.. Just never gets old.

The Laughing Quadruplets

Hard to tell if daddy’s genuinely funny or if they’re just extra happy to be near their mommy’s foodstuffs. Either way.. it’s creepy. And funny.