31 Absolutely Jawdropping Photos, Taken Completely Out Of Context, From The 2008 Beijing Olympic Games In ChinaAugust 25th, 2008 | by MG | (Visited 715,042 times)
The 2008 Beijing Olympics have come to a close, medal counts have been tallied, superstars have been made, and endorsement deals are being signed. As always, now we can expect the deluge of highlights, lowlights, and gag reels from all the on-scene and behind the scene footage that’s been collected.
In that tradition, here are some of the funniest, unusual, or downright WTF moments caught on camera this time. Now, if they actually had factual and detailed information next to them, they’d simply be “interesting”. Personally, I think pictures like these merit an eager imagination and are even more funny, when we have no idea what’s really going on.
And with that…
Kissing The Balance Beam
Some might see this, adjust their seating position and say, “Hmm, reminds me of that Heather chick” leaving everyone else wondering what they’re talking about. The rest of us are left with only the question of whether this was caught a moment before a terrible and awesome balance beam crash, or if this young gymnast is about to perform the oft-spoke-of-never-before-seen-on-film American Nose Dismount technique.
Beat Up A Sixth Grader
While Women’s Softball and other games were being phased out, several others were being tested for possible new competitions. In this shot of the “Beat Up A Sixth Grader” competition, we can see the highly successful team-based maneuver where the sixth grader is first immobilized by a flying clothesline – then slammed in the face with an Official Olympic Soccer Ball. The Alley-Oop equivalent of this amazing new game.
Bob The Photog
Taking even the most impressive crash in stride, Bob, the consummate professional, never strays from his duty to capture the games up close and personally.
Father Tom, The Boxing Coach
Priest-cum-Boxing Coach, Father Thomas, expertly handles any situation where a crying or incapacitated young man is left in a dangerous position. Boxers can also be very whiny by nature, so this may also be a shot of Father Thomas gently dragging the losing boxer out of the ring as the Olympian regretfully attempts to cling to the floor of the ring with his gloved hands.
Grasping For Grip
Wrestling is all about leverage and forcing your opponent into submission. This may be an ancient Chinese pressure-point technique, or just a desperate grasp for something to grab a hold of.
Whether these are life-like, completely stereotypical, or just funny on purpose is unknown. Although any combination of the first two will lead to the latter.
This will not end well. Fortunately, 14 year olds fall down much better than those of legal competition age.
Fencing? Or Interpretive Dance?
I’m sure if you look very carefully, you can see the slight sliver that is the fencing pointer. But it’s much more funny to just chalk this up to some heavily padded interpretive dance.
Relaxing: Serious Business
The Chinese are very serious about performing at your best at all times. Even relaxing is done at 110%.
WAS it in you?
New Sport: Bromantic Dancing Competition
Here we see the new sport of Bromantic Competitive Dancing. Look at the fire, the passion, the sheer exhaustion of love in their eyes as they traverse the floor using their desire for each other as a catalyst for a gold-medal-deserving-performance.
About This Much
The man in the suit is either discussing a prison shower scene from HBO’s Oz, or explaining how far this large man needs to jump like a frog to qualify for the semi-finals.
Japenese Ping Pongers Cheat
No explanation needed here. This is obvious proof that centuries of ancient Eastern ninja philosophies continue to aid the Japanese in even simple events like Ninja Ping Pong.
Michael Phelps Can Walk On Water
Never letting Usain Bolt get a leg up, Phelps is seen here displaying his slightly disturbing ability to walk on the surface of water.
Now You’re Just Bragging
Rubbing it in Nastia Liukin’s face that she won the gold medal, Shawn Johnson is seen here showing off her ability to float in midair. Nastia is obviously not impressed.
Ninja Rule #1: You Must Always Be Awesome
Being awesome, all the time, is a common and necessary trait in ninjas. Another is that they flip out all the time as well. One way of being awesome is to perform the well-known “badly dubbed karate scream” as seen below.
Another Ninja Rule – You Must Kick People For No Reason
“My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.” With that in mind, there is really no need for an explanation as to why this fighter is kicking a nice official in the face, for what seems like no reason at all.
Let’s Just See What We Have Here…
I’m just going to discount this as the Chinese being completely inappropriate.
Demons Make Great Divers
Postponing the exorcism worked out great for this Olympic team. Apparently, the devil is a fantastic diver.
Michael Phelps Can Make His Head Disappear At Will
High-speed photography can show us the secret to many slight of hands too fast to be seen by the human eye before. Here we see Michael Phelp’s amazing ability to transform his head into water at will. Amazing.
The Old Monacle Trick
In table tennis, using your hands is prohibited. However, the act of using trained eye muscles to grasp the ping pong ball and use it as a monocle while uttering delightful English slang, is mentioned nowhere in the rulebook.
No Nubs Allowed
Caught in the heat of the moment, this female competitor was disqualified for breaking the “no-hands” rule. Unfortunately, nubs count and cannot be used as human paddles. No exceptions.
When You Have To Go, You Have To Go
Pooping can be catastrophic if not handled properly. When you’re on a long boat ride, the need strikes, and you’re in a tight white spandex suit, this is no time to be a hero and hold it.
The Olympic Singing Competition
Though this sport had a terrible turnout and will likely be dropped, we must still take time to appreciate these Olympic performances of covering Whitney Houston’s hit song, “And I Will Always Love You”.
The 2008 Olympic Starvation Competition
I’ll be honest and just say that this was a terrible, terrible event. Though you have to respect the sheer will of the woman left standing.
This Just Isn’t Right
Nobody should be able to stretch like that.
Reflect For A Moment…
As your fight for gold vanishes, all you can really do is take a half second to really take it all in and ponder, “Why am I really here?”
OK, Mr. Bolt – We Get It
Feeling completely underwhelmed by his competition, Usain Bolt is seen here actually carrying the bike he rode to the Olympic Games, which he then returned to the bike lot, all without being seen by the mere eye. You’re fast. We get it.
Geico Can Save Me How Much On Car Insurance?
Bracing for an epic takedown, eyes to the sky, this young man sees the Geico ad and realizes that he’s been paying entirely too much for car insurance.
Don’t Get Ahead Of Yourself
I can’t imagine that sticking your tongue out at a time like this is really very smart.
Wrestling: Totally Not Gay
Seriously. “Balls On Head” is a valid submission technique!