31 Absolutely Jawdropping Photos, Taken Completely Out Of Context, From The 2008 Beijing Olympic Games In China

August 25th, 2008 | by MG | (Visited 676,001 times)

The 2008 Beijing Olympics have come to a close, medal counts have been tallied, superstars have been made, and endorsement deals are being signed. As always, now we can expect the deluge of highlights, lowlights, and gag reels from all the on-scene and behind the scene footage that’s been collected.

In that tradition, here are some of the funniest, unusual, or downright WTF moments caught on camera this time. Now, if they actually had factual and detailed information next to them, they’d simply be “interesting”. Personally, I think pictures like these merit an eager imagination and are even more funny, when we have no idea what’s really going on.

And with that…

Kissing The Balance Beam

Some might see this, adjust their seating position and say, “Hmm, reminds me of that Heather chick” leaving everyone else wondering what they’re talking about. The rest of us are left with only the question of whether this was caught a moment before a terrible and awesome balance beam crash, or if this young gymnast is about to perform the oft-spoke-of-never-before-seen-on-film American Nose Dismount technique.

Kissing The Balance Beam

Beat Up A Sixth Grader

While Women’s Softball and other games were being phased out, several others were being tested for possible new competitions. In this shot of the “Beat Up A Sixth Grader” competition, we can see the highly successful team-based maneuver where the sixth grader is first immobilized by a flying clothesline – then slammed in the face with an Official Olympic Soccer Ball. The Alley-Oop equivalent of this amazing new game.

Beat Up A Sixth Grader

Bob The Photog

Taking even the most impressive crash in stride, Bob, the consummate professional, never strays from his duty to capture the games up close and personally.

Bob The Photog

Father Tom, The Boxing Coach

Priest-cum-Boxing Coach, Father Thomas, expertly handles any situation where a crying or incapacitated young man is left in a dangerous position. Boxers can also be very whiny by nature, so this may also be a shot of Father Thomas gently dragging the losing boxer out of the ring as the Olympian regretfully attempts to cling to the floor of the ring with his gloved hands.

Father Tom, The Boxing Coach

Grasping For Grip

Wrestling is all about leverage and forcing your opponent into submission. This may be an ancient Chinese pressure-point technique, or just a desperate grasp for something to grab a hold of.

Grasping For Grip

Earmuffs

Whether these are life-like, completely stereotypical, or just funny on purpose is unknown. Although any combination of the first two will lead to the latter.

Earmuffs

FailGrip

This will not end well. Fortunately, 14 year olds fall down much better than those of legal competition age.

FailGrip

Fencing? Or Interpretive Dance?

I’m sure if you look very carefully, you can see the slight sliver that is the fencing pointer. But it’s much more funny to just chalk this up to some heavily padded interpretive dance.

Fencing?  Or Interpretive Dance?

Relaxing: Serious Business

The Chinese are very serious about performing at your best at all times. Even relaxing is done at 110%.

Relaxing: Serious Business

Gatorade…

WAS it in you?

Gatorade…

New Sport: Bromantic Dancing Competition

Here we see the new sport of Bromantic Competitive Dancing. Look at the fire, the passion, the sheer exhaustion of love in their eyes as they traverse the floor using their desire for each other as a catalyst for a gold-medal-deserving-performance.

New Sport:  Bromantic Dancing Competition

About This Much

The man in the suit is either discussing a prison shower scene from HBO’s Oz, or explaining how far this large man needs to jump like a frog to qualify for the semi-finals.

About This Much

Japenese Ping Pongers Cheat

No explanation needed here. This is obvious proof that centuries of ancient Eastern ninja philosophies continue to aid the Japanese in even simple events like Ninja Ping Pong.

Japenese Ping Pongers Cheat

Michael Phelps Can Walk On Water

Never letting Usain Bolt get a leg up, Phelps is seen here displaying his slightly disturbing ability to walk on the surface of water.

Michael Phelps Can Walk On Water

Now You’re Just Bragging

Rubbing it in Nastia Liukin’s face that she won the gold medal, Shawn Johnson is seen here showing off her ability to float in midair. Nastia is obviously not impressed.

Now You’re Just Bragging

Ninja Rule #1: You Must Always Be Awesome

Being awesome, all the time, is a common and necessary trait in ninjas. Another is that they flip out all the time as well. One way of being awesome is to perform the well-known “badly dubbed karate scream” as seen below.

Ninja Rule #1:  You Must Always Be Awesome

Another Ninja Rule – You Must Kick People For No Reason

“My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.” With that in mind, there is really no need for an explanation as to why this fighter is kicking a nice official in the face, for what seems like no reason at all.

Another Ninja Rule - You Must Kick People For No Reason

Let’s Just See What We Have Here…

I’m just going to discount this as the Chinese being completely inappropriate.

Let’s Just See What We Have Here…

Demons Make Great Divers

Postponing the exorcism worked out great for this Olympic team. Apparently, the devil is a fantastic diver.

Demons Make Great Divers

Michael Phelps Can Make His Head Disappear At Will

High-speed photography can show us the secret to many slight of hands too fast to be seen by the human eye before. Here we see Michael Phelp’s amazing ability to transform his head into water at will. Amazing.

Michael Phelps Can Make His Head Disappear At Will

The Old Monacle Trick

In table tennis, using your hands is prohibited. However, the act of using trained eye muscles to grasp the ping pong ball and use it as a monocle while uttering delightful English slang, is mentioned nowhere in the rulebook.

The Old Monocle Trick

No Nubs Allowed

Caught in the heat of the moment, this female competitor was disqualified for breaking the “no-hands” rule. Unfortunately, nubs count and cannot be used as human paddles. No exceptions.

No Nubs Allowed

When You Have To Go, You Have To Go

Pooping can be catastrophic if not handled properly. When you’re on a long boat ride, the need strikes, and you’re in a tight white spandex suit, this is no time to be a hero and hold it.

When You Have To Go, You Have To Go

The Olympic Singing Competition

Though this sport had a terrible turnout and will likely be dropped, we must still take time to appreciate these Olympic performances of covering Whitney Houston’s hit song, “And I Will Always Love You”.

The Olympic Singing Competition

The 2008 Olympic Starvation Competition

I’ll be honest and just say that this was a terrible, terrible event. Though you have to respect the sheer will of the woman left standing.

The 2008 Olympic Starvation Competition

This Just Isn’t Right

Nobody should be able to stretch like that.

This Just Isn’t Right

Reflect For A Moment…

As your fight for gold vanishes, all you can really do is take a half second to really take it all in and ponder, “Why am I really here?”

Reflect For A Moment…

OK, Mr. Bolt – We Get It

Feeling completely underwhelmed by his competition, Usain Bolt is seen here actually carrying the bike he rode to the Olympic Games, which he then returned to the bike lot, all without being seen by the mere eye. You’re fast. We get it.

OK, Mr. Bolt - We Get It

Geico Can Save Me How Much On Car Insurance?

Bracing for an epic takedown, eyes to the sky, this young man sees the Geico ad and realizes that he’s been paying entirely too much for car insurance.

Geico Can Save Me How Much On Car Insurance?

Don’t Get Ahead Of Yourself

I can’t imagine that sticking your tongue out at a time like this is really very smart.

Don’t Get Ahead Of Yourself

Wrestling: Totally Not Gay

Seriously. “Balls On Head” is a valid submission technique!

Wrestling:  Totally Not Gay



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9 Comments

Comment by April
Aug 25, 2008 8:56 PM

I heart you.

 
Comment by Remy
Aug 25, 2008 10:16 PM

Were those two DANCING?!?

 
Comment by rick
Aug 26, 2008 1:08 PM

Great collection. What was that sport with your so called 6th grader? basketball? Some crazy sport from american gladiators.

Comment by Ginnie
Aug 26, 2008 1:47 PM

Hah, I have NO idea. I’m imagining futbol/soccer based on the outfits, but I suppose it could be anything.

Just something about the size of the poor blonde makes the idea of a game centered around ganging up and beating up a sixth grader hilarious. Completely wrong, but hilarious.

 
 
Comment by Jimi
Aug 26, 2008 5:33 PM

Those two were or are wrestlers.. the sport of vollyball maybe as the beat up a blonde who is no sex grader or is it six greater.. I forgot..
the ears are real do not be fooled..look at his nose..gay men in a wrestling pose that is HARD to believe..taking a dump of a boat?? why not??

great shots for sure… especially the walking on water.. what will his name become..JC Phelps??

Comment by Ginnie
Aug 26, 2008 8:46 PM

I didn’t wanna be the one to make the JC reference, but now that it’s out there… =P

 
 
Comment by Eva White
Aug 27, 2008 6:32 AM

Great pics. Very funny . Best one i liked is the gun shooter with flying ear muffs.

 
Comment by chutes
Aug 28, 2008 11:39 AM

niggaa!!! You always the one to find some crazy ass shots,.

 
Comment by Nicole Price
Sep 01, 2008 11:30 PM

Great stuff, would not have minded a list of just 30 pix with the barfing one given the go by, though :)

 

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