MSPaint Your Own Adventure: You Wake Up Inside A Hot Cardboard Box. Black Dildos, Lions With Wings, And Pirate Trees. The Internet Answers The Question You Never Asked.

September 29th, 2007 | by Ginnie | (Visited 19,476 times)

Warning: This post contains some adult themed humor and language

The internet is full of memes. One of the latest ones I’ve noticed is the Pink Shirt Guy. Nobody can really tell you WHY he’s so famous, other than he looks nonchalant in a picture of people in biohazard gear doing what appears to be septic removal or something equally as undesirable. But yet, he has his own website, his own youtube video complete with techno soundtrack, and a cult following.

The worst part here though, is that PSG (shorthand for Pink Shirt Guy), isn’t the worst thing from this adventure in MSPaint. No, in fact, I’d dare say it’s the entire question itself. And of course the resulting answers. You see this isn’t one person creating all of these. Instead it started as the simple question below, with others chiming in responses and having them drawn. Like a sick, twisted version of the Telephone game you played as a child, this “Choose Your Own Adventure” themed quest goes horribly, horribly wrong.

Remember kids, when you ask The Internet a question, you should make sure you’re able to handle the answer it gives you. The below is brought to you by the geniuses at OffTopic.com

A Man Asks Thousands Of Readers A Question

You awake inside a hot cardboard box. You open the box and stand up only to find yourself in the middle of some kind of African savanna. There is a Zebra carcass and a large black dildo nearby. You are hungry.

What do you do?

Choice #1 – Pretty Much Nothing

You’re getting nowhere fast

You are devoured by a lion with fangs and wings and shit – you die

Choice #2 – Set A Trap

Your trap is set, but will he take the bait?

Jubilations! He took the bait. You hear a far-off explosion.

You immediately form an everlasting friendship with the lion with wings and shit, but all of a sudden…

A F*cking pirate tree with an AK 47 out of nowhere! What now!?

Using the lightning-fast reflexes that you didn’t know you had, you manage to jam the dildo in the Pirate Tree’s gun. Pink Shirt Guy observes from afar.

After swapping clothes with PSG, you let the lion handle the tree.

OM NOM NOM.

You triumph, but soon realize your lion can no longer carry you.

BLAM!

You take the lion’s wings.

And with new found wings and an AK 47, you fly off to safety… And food.

THE END

I’m as confused as you guys probably are right now, but for some reason I read the whole thing… Way to go Internet.

Tags: funny, pictures, africa, lion, mspaint