Can You Fight A Dog? If So, Could You Expect To Win?

January 5th, 2009 (Visited 677,047 times)

Could you fight a dog?  Without the gun of course.We see it all over the news and media. Some new “murder dog” has savagely attacked a young child or older adult leading to massive injuries or even death. But as someone more in the middle of life with a reasonable health record, it becomes a curious question, if you’d be able to handle a fierce dog coming at you.

This whole topic reminds me of the How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take In A Fight? website idea where based on some stats and other input, it was calculated how many 5 year olds you could theoretically beat up should the situation ever arise.

Even the larger and heavier dogs rarely broach sizes that would prevent you from being able to physically move them around. Aside from some gnarling teeth, there’s not too much to worry about, one would think.

When the question arose, turned out some readers even had experiences with this. Here’s what they had to say:

I’ve fought a dog before, it was only ~25lbs though with a smallish mouth when I was 10 or 11.

At one point I had it pinned on it’s back with my had around it’s neck to make it settle down. It clawed the hell out of me but it was better than getting bit.

When I was younger about 4 years ago I was walking down a road when I seen a stray dog barking aggressively at a young girl, she was scared sh*tless picking up the pace and looking back at it not having a clue that she was causing the dog to get more excited. it was a dark brown mut, some sort of Labrador cross breed, but a good size.

It was clearly ready to go for her so I shouted in the dogs direction to get its attention which sure enough it did. It stops and gives me a look and then leaves the girl for me. Party on I guess.

Comes trodding along barking at me and I keep eye contact while walking to its side. It gets pretty close to me barking and snapping by this point I guess to see how I would react, while doing so I just had my right foot primed for a football kick to its head. Then it just jumps at me and snaps my left leg, I follow up with a nice leg kick to its ribs. It goes for my upper left leg not far from my groin and catches the skin to which I landed a nice hammer fist clean on top of its head which seemed to stun it and get the dog into defensive mode. I guess with the adrenaline I just snapped and followed up with heavy kicks to its face and sides to which it was responding with moans after each kick. Then this dog clearly is in no condition to fight as its tail sweeps under its legs and it begins to retreat. I push on as it runs around the corner but stop after I see it pick up the pace.

Human 1 – Dog 0

No sign of the young girl I stood up for, she had no idea that some random person just took on a dog for her.

I wouldn’t run… it excites their play drive and gets them more excited and bent on hunting you.

When I was 9 I was bitten in the back of my leg by a large mixed breed dog that was traveling in a pack of 3 other dogs. When it bit me I didn’t cry,run, or fight. I turned around and walked slowly back down the mountain and the pack stayed put. You have to try to stay calm even if you’re being bitten.

I’d say realistically, you HAVE to fight.. not much other choice. If you run Read the rest of this entry »

15 Reasons Sarah Palin Will Never Win Any Argument

October 11th, 2008 (Visited 667,366 times)

Without getting uber political, it’s safe to say that Senator John McCain’s pick of Sarah Palin for Vice President was done less for substance and more for political gain. Barack Obama did the same with Joe Biden, although perhaps to a lesser degree. It’s just the way the two party game goes.

Although one problem Palin faces that Biden never will: She’s hot. A G.I.L.F., if you will.

What should that matter, in the realm of mature political discussion you ask? Well in that realm it wouldn’t, but we live in reality and in reality we laugh at the expense of others, we’re sometimes kind of assholes, and we tend to, as a species, find even amazingly stupid stuff pretty funny.

Letting that line there help segue into the following pics… Here are a few examples of reasons why, even if Sarah Palin was actually really really smart, she’d still lose any discussion. It has to do with pee-pee jokes, sexual innuendo, and things we think but don’t say.

These pics were furiously captioned as forums around the net picked up on a recent meme with Palin after the VP debate. If you notice a trend, it’s intended :)

** Note of caution: If you consider yourself intelligent or of high moral standing, it may be best to call it a day and not go any further. This is not intelligent humor. I’m totally serious. **

Click on the thumbnails for a larger version of the image

Frosted Flakes – The Jigsaw Puzzle

Frosted Flakes - The Jigsaw Puzzle

Reverse Yo Momma?

Sarah Palin Yo Momma

Then Who Was Phone?

Sarah Palin Joe Biden Who Was Phone?

If you don’t get the “who was phone” reference – see this link

Poop Jokes

Poop Jokes

A MILF

Sarah Palin - What Is A MILF/GILF?

Read the rest of this entry »

What Are Some “Secrets” At Your Workplace That Management Will Never Admit To?

September 8th, 2008 (Visited 639,765 times)

Shhh Workplace SecretsWe’ve all been there before. Everywhere you work, there’s always a few things that you realize probably don’t get advertised to the public. Or a few things that are just publicly ignored altogether.

A few friends and I got talking on the subject and as the conversation grew to their friends and their friends, some very interesting replies came back.

Workplace Secrets

So what do you know about where you work, that you probably shouldn’t?

These were the top 40 that we discovered.

After working at Blockbuster for more than 2 years, we only just turned the security towers on.

I work at an emissions/inspections place for the county.

We fail cars driven by people who look like jerks.

Walmart has contingency plans for every occasion, from blackouts to tornadoes to nuclear wars.

Don’t let anyone leave, stay away from windows. pretty much the same as a tornado, actually. I always wonder if they just got lazy with that one.

When I was 17 I worked at KFC.

KFC Honey BBQ SandwichBBQ Chicken sandwich meat is made from the previous days chicken de-boned and then added to BBQ sauce. If it didn’t sell we would just put it back in the fridge. it was never “changed” So you could be eating week old chicken.

Extra Krispy Chicken is krispy because it is made with the fryer (collecto) lid open. Original is made with the fryer closed.

If you say you don’t want a receipt, I end up with a little extra money in my drawer and even more in my pocket.

Residence advisers have no authority.

The video store I worked for only had one original copy of each movie, the rest were copies we made.

I peed in the slush puppy machine regularly.

We turn the air conditioning off at the bar I work at when we are ready to run all the drunks out and go home.

We talk about you when you are sedated. A lot.

I work at your ISP. We read your email and track what torrents you download.

The company owner knowingly and willingly hires illegal Mexicans.

Cruise LineWhen booking cruises, there is a deposit of $250 per person required, so if you plan on having 2 in a room and don’t wanna pay the full deposit, just book the room as a single and pay only $250 instead of $500. Then just add the 2nd person later when paying the balance.

Read the rest of this entry »

31 Absolutely Jawdropping Photos, Taken Completely Out Of Context, From The 2008 Beijing Olympic Games In China

August 25th, 2008 (Visited 578,591 times)

The 2008 Beijing Olympics have come to a close, medal counts have been tallied, superstars have been made, and endorsement deals are being signed. As always, now we can expect the deluge of highlights, lowlights, and gag reels from all the on-scene and behind the scene footage that’s been collected.

In that tradition, here are some of the funniest, unusual, or downright WTF moments caught on camera this time. Now, if they actually had factual and detailed information next to them, they’d simply be “interesting”. Personally, I think pictures like these merit an eager imagination and are even more funny, when we have no idea what’s really going on.

And with that…

Kissing The Balance Beam

Some might see this, adjust their seating position and say, “Hmm, reminds me of that Heather chick” leaving everyone else wondering what they’re talking about. The rest of us are left with only the question of whether this was caught a moment before a terrible and awesome balance beam crash, or if this young gymnast is about to perform the oft-spoke-of-never-before-seen-on-film American Nose Dismount technique.

Kissing The Balance Beam

Beat Up A Sixth Grader

While Women’s Softball and other games were being phased out, several others were being tested for possible new competitions. In this shot of the “Beat Up A Sixth Grader” competition, we can see the highly successful team-based maneuver where the sixth grader is first immobilized by a flying clothesline – then slammed in the face with an Official Olympic Soccer Ball. The Alley-Oop equivalent of this amazing new game.

Beat Up A Sixth Grader

Bob The Photog

Taking even the most impressive crash in stride, Bob, the consummate professional, never strays from his duty to capture the games up close and personally.

Bob The Photog

Father Tom, The Boxing Coach

Priest-cum-Boxing Coach, Father Thomas, expertly handles any situation where a crying or incapacitated young man is left in a dangerous position. Boxers can also be very whiny by nature, so this may also be a shot of Father Thomas gently dragging the losing boxer out of the ring as the Olympian regretfully attempts to cling to the floor of the ring with his gloved hands.

Father Tom, The Boxing Coach

Grasping For Grip

Wrestling is all about leverage and forcing your opponent into submission. This may be an ancient Chinese pressure-point technique, or just a desperate grasp for something to grab a hold of.

Grasping For Grip

Read the rest of this entry »

7 Reasons Why Even Ugly Artificial Slaughter Is Better Than Natural Slaughter

July 9th, 2008 (Visited 198,659 times)

Kosher Slaughter, Vegans, And Not Smiling CowsI love animals, I really do. However, many “animal lovers” are simply out of touch with reality. While humans may not need to eat animals to survive, to remain athletic and active, it really helps. While there are exceptions to this, they are far and few between. The reasoning is that in a vegan lifestyle, to obtain the 150 to 250 grams of protein per day that one would need to successfully build muscle (assuming a weight of between 150-250 pounds), the extra fiber and carbohydrates gained from eating foods that would provide that protein would destroy the careful ratios you’d be trying to observe. There are a couple vegan-friendly foods that provide heavy doses of protein in a serving, but not enough to reliably, affordably, and easily integrate them into a diet without growing tired of things pretty fast.

I’m not here to argue the nutritional merits of vegan lifestyles though, I’m here to bring a little dose of sanity and reality to the idea that humans are so far out of touch with nature that we’re savagely cruel to animals.

My inspiration for this rant was due to a debate that raged elsewhere, leading one commenter to say:

When predators kill they go for the throat and suffocate the animal quickly so it’s nothing like the horrific sh*t you see in the video.

Having seen my share of nature documentaries, I know this isn’t true. Animals in the wild equate to a 2 year old face-pounding a plate of spaghetti. They’re messy, unorganized, and things get ugly quickly. The introduction of human tools, like a fork and spoon or fork and knife, can greatly help make this process more efficient.

Most animals, if possible, either neutralize the threat from thrashing limbs, teeth, and claws or take an opposite approach where they are less likely to encounter said limbs. No matter how they do it – it isn’t pretty. The latter can be seen by the Komodo Dragon video further down.

After searching YouTube for a few minutes, I came up with 7 videos that show how various animals could care less about how humanely they’re killing their food. I do love animals very much, but some of the armchair hippies I run into during discussions like this need to realize that compared to these following videos… Even this terrible application of Kosher slaughter seems humane.

Read the rest of this entry »